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They had all raped me, and come in or on me. they dropped me off at my house, and I promised never to tell the police, as long as they never touched me again. My dad was at work and my brother was staying the night at his friend’s house. I took a long shower, letting the water rinse off the filth I felt. But I still couldn’t feel clean. The soap burned my abused and torn skin, but I kept scrubbing. When I finally ran out of hot water I got out and went to bed. That night I relived the rape in. Everyone has an image that has been carefully crafted over time that they protect with enormous effort and energy. But everyone also has the real personality that they are terrified to let the world see. There is the confident, possibly arrogant businessman, who is really a scared child. There is the pious church leader with his porn stash and trips to the prostitutes. There is the shy and conservative housewife who writes erotic stories and grabs her dido as soon as her husband and children. “ One first class ticket for the nine o’clock flight to Honolulu please.” I asked the lady at the counter. I’ve never been there I thought to myself.Three grand later I headed through security and plunked myself at the nearest bar for a drink, I just hate flying, so I’m usually drunk for a flight. Four cosmos later I was feeling fine. Why a Cosmo you ask? Well, when I came out it was the stereotypical gay drink and I kind of just fell back on it in a public setting. Kinda like putting up a. Humiliation and shame experienced as aman, the same situations growing more and more thrilling to me as apseudo-woman.So Annie's answer was very important to me."Jim, do you remember in 'Tootsie' how Dustin Hoffman became obsessivewith portraying himself as the best and prettiest woman he could be? Ifound that part of the movie fascinating. But I also found that part ofthe movie to be somewhat unfulfilling to me, personally. As I watchedHoffman become the woman HE wanted to be, I realized quite.
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